Do you feel like a loser? Do you feel inferior and think that you are a failure in life? If you did, I’m here to tell you that this feeling is absolutely normal. We have all been there, and it is a normal cycle in life to go through the ups and downs.
And I believe that feeling like a loser is the same as rain, it is not a question of whether it’s going to happen because it will, rather, it is a question of what you need to do and how to handle it when it comes.
Extraordinary people seem to be able to achieve great success in life and they don’t seem to experience this feeling like a loser at all. They seem so confident and everything they do leads them to higher and greater success in life.
I’m here to tell you that this is not true at all.
“Behind every successful man, there’s a lot of unsuccessful years.”
Like every other normal human being, successful people are humans too. They have gone through their periods of setbacks and they too could feel like a loser in life.
The only difference is that successful people understand how to manage their feelings and they have the experience and know what to do and never let their feelings get over them.
You should do the same. Learn how to manage your feelings and never let your emotions control you. Rather, be the one who controls your feelings and emotions.
But, how do you do that? Well, here are 10 ways how you can stop feeling like a loser…
1. Stop making a comparison of yourself to others
One of the most common reasons that make people feel like a loser is that they are constantly comparing themselves with others.
When you compare yourself with others who are doing much better than you in life or at work, you may feel dejected. Think about it, when you see your friends driving a better car than you, when you see your friends traveling around the world, and when you see your friends getting married and living a good life, it can make you feel like you’re just “not there” yet.
This is why you should stop comparing yourself to others.
We all are unique. And every one of us follows our own “timeline”. Some people become the CEO of a company at age 50, some started their own business at age 25, and some people were fired at age 40 but become successful entrepreneurs at age 48.
I want to let you know that you don’t have to compare with others. Everyone is living their own life.
The key is to understand what you really want and don’t stop pursuing your dreams. As long as you are moving forward and making progress, you are a winner.
What you need to do is NOT to compare yourself with others, instead, compare with your older self.
Compare with yourself a day ago, a week ago, a month ago, and a year ago. Are you doing better? Have you improved?
If your answer is a yes, congratulations, continue to work harder and put in more effort. If your answer is a no, then find out what and where you can improve to become better each day.
“Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see a bird that had the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.”
– Dale Carnegie
2. Track your achievement and progress
One way to stop feeling like a loser is to revisit your wins. You feel like a loser because you think that you don’t achieve much in life or at work.
Think about all your wins and all the achievements you have accomplished. I bet you have more victories than most ordinary people.
The fact that you are reading this article shows that you have put in the conscious effort to make your life better. You are already winning, and you just need to remind yourself about them.
This is why it is a wise move to write down all your victories and wins.
Every day, write down all the things that you have achieved, big and small. Write down all the good things that happened to you throughout the day. Spend a few minutes to journal or create a personal blog to record your victories.
Whenever you feel down or when you feel like a loser, revisit this long list of your achievements and be proud of yourself.
The reason you feel like a loser is that you focus on the losing side. Instead of seeing all your wins, you focus on all your losses. And that’s why you don’t feel great.
This is why you want to keep track of all your wins and victories.
Read: 13 Ways How to Celebrate Small Victories and Make Progress
3. Understand that you’re not the only person who’s going through this
Yes, you’re not the only one who is going through this. There are people out there who have faced even tougher situations and yet, they prosper and succeed anyway.
This is what you need to learn when you feel dejected or inferior. It is normal to have the feeling that you’re not achieving enough or that you’re losing the game of life.
When you have worked hard for so many years but have no real results to show, and when you see someone who is more successful than you did, you will feel like a failure.
This is a normal feeling, but it doesn’t mean you are the only person who is and had faced this situation.
There are many people out there who suffered even more tough times, yet, they didn’t give up and they continue to move forward.
This is the kind of spirit you must develop.
I like this meaningful quote from Helen Keller:
“I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.”
You think that life is unfair and that everything you did isn’t coming to fruition, until you see someone who has gone through an even worse situation than you did, only then you will discover your situation is manageable and you can cope with it.
Hence, please understand that we all go through different situations in life. Some people have bigger problems than you do.
So, there’s no need to feel like a loser. You just need to learn how to cope with the problems and rise again.
4. Stop catastrophizing the situation
One very important thing you must NOT do when you feel like losing is catastrophizing the situation. Stop making it sounds like a big deal and make it even worse.
When you fail at something, you don’t want to catastrophize and make the situation worse by saying things like, “I know I’m a loser that’s why I fail”, or “It’s not working out and now I’m doomed”.
Your thinking is determined by the words you used. When you tell yourself that you are a loser, your mind will focus on the word “loser” and find all the reasons to support your claim.
Instead of making the situation worse, either stop saying negative things to yourself or simply change the words and the way you talk to yourself.
Tell yourself things like, “I know this is difficult, but I can make it”, or “I may fail now, but I won’t fail forever”, or “This is just a small test from the Universe and I’m not giving up”.
Switch your thinking and your self-talk. When you change your focus and stop catastrophizing, things will slowly become better.
Read: How to Talk to Yourself Positively
5. Talk to someone who has been through it
Another great way to overcome hardship is by talking with someone who has been there. It will make you feel better because you know that someone has been there before and he or she has made it.
For instance, if you fail at your business and you are broke now, talk to someone who has been in that situation before and learns how he or she coped with the situation.
It will give you inspiration and ideas on how to manage the situation. You will feel much better because there is a solution to it.
Plus, when you find out someone has gone through the same situation as you and succeeded despite the odds, it gives you the feeling that if they can do it, so can you.
In short, it gives you hope.
And if you can’t find anyone, just read books. Read inspirational and success books, motivational books, biographies of successful people, personal development books, etc. Not sure what books to read? Here are my best success books recommendations.
The more you read, the more you will understand that going through tough times is necessary. It is inevitable.
And most importantly, you will understand that failures help build your character. So, don’t feel like a loser, because embracing failures gives you strength and growth.
6. Imagine the worst-case scenario
What if you have no books to read and no one else to turn to? Well then, just get yourself out of the negative thought cycle by asking yourself this question:
“What is the worst thing that can happen?”
When you feel like a loser, you are already at rock bottom. There is nothing there that can make you feel even more like a loser anymore. There is nothing more to lose, but everything to gain.
Think about it, when you feel like a loser, it is because you don’t have any significant results to show. And you just need to take a leap of faith, pursue your dreams, follow your heart, and chase your goals.
You have nothing to lose because you are already at the bottom. So, why don’t just go all out because the only way to get out of the rut is up?
When you imagine the worst-case scenario, you will often find that the worst case is not that “bad” at all.
After all, you are still alive. You can start over again. If you will lose all your friends, you can make new ones. If you fail, just learn how to cope with it. It gives you an experience that most people never even dare to try.
So, what is the worst thing that can happen?
Screw it, just do it.
7. Exercise, play sports, and do something you like
Sometimes, getting out of the situation by doing something else can be a good way to break the negative thinking pattern.
When you feel like a loser, go exercise, workout in the gym, run 10 miles, play sports, or do something that you like.
You want to switch your thinking so that you don’t focus on negative thoughts. When you choose to do something else, you change your focus and put it on something else.
It is not that you’re trying to run away from the real situation, just that you want to give your mind a rest and come back to the problem later.
You want to refresh your mind and recharge your soul so that when you get back to facing reality, you may get a new idea or perspective about things.
8. Set new goals and challenge yourself again
So, you feel like a loser? Don’t worry, just start over again by setting new goals and challenging yourself once more.
When you think you have failed in life and that everything is not working out well for you, basically, there are only 2 things you can do…
- You either accept that you are a loser and live your life as a loser,
- Or build up your courage, challenge yourself, set new goals, and make a change.
Which do you prefer?
At the end of the day, it is easy to decide. Nobody wants to be a loser and everyone wants to win.
We all wish to live a great life and we all want to be the champion in everything we do. We hate losing and we don’t like to fail.
But failure and mistakes are inevitable because they serve as the experience and feedback for us to grow – to make us better and worthy of success.
Therefore, when you fail, choose to rise again. Set new and empowering goals because you have gained better experience and become wiser now.
One of my favorite sayings was from Mark Twain:
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
You will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. Thus, have the courage to start over again. Set new goals and challenge yourself to go higher and better.
If you want to learn how to set empowering goals and achieve greatness in life, follow my system in Goal Setting Formula.
9. Seek help and improve yourself
When you are confident, you will never feel like a loser. When you feel like a loser, it means you don’t have the confidence.
Therefore, you need to develop better confidence to get rid of the lousy feeling. And one effective method to build your confidence is to seek help and improve yourself.
The better you become, the more confident you will be. And the more confident you are, the less you will feel like a loser.
People who feel that they are a loser or a failure because they lack confidence. They think that they are no good. They think that they are inferior and that nothing they do amounts to much.
Hence, work on your confidence. Learn to improve your skills and knowledge. The better you become, the less likely you will feel like a loser.
Every day, work on improving yourself. Read books, study, learn, and more importantly, work on your skills. Do something to progress forward every day.
You just need to build little and small wins each day. It will build up your momentum and if you keep going, big wins will come.
Just take one small step a day and eventually, you will reach your destination.
10. Understand that tomorrow is always a fresh beginning
To stop feeling like a loser, you have to understand that there is always a fresh new beginning. Meaning to say, no matter how worst it is, you can always start anew.
Successful people are optimistic, and they believe that the future will always be better than the present. This is why they started businesses, invest in the stock market, and create companies.
Think about it, if you think that the economy is going to crash, do you still want to put money in the stock market or start a new business? No, you won’t.
Successful people believe that things are going to get better. And even if the market did crash, it will somehow rebound, and things will return to normal or even better.
Look at history. For hundreds of years, we have improved the quality of our living. From sending letters to sending instant texts, from hunting animals to dining at luxury restaurants, from knowledge passing down from generations to university education, we are always improving and getting better.
Hence, you don’t have to be negative about how things will turn out because they will eventually get better.
Don’t make yourself feel like a loser. You have to understand that tomorrow is always a brand new day and you can make your life better.
“The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.”
Conclusion
It is a normal phenomenon that you will feel like a loser or a failure. It is inevitable because human beings are emotional. And because we tend to compare ourselves to others who are doing much better than us, it makes us feel that we’re losing.
But that doesn’t mean that you’re a loser. You may be losing now, but it doesn’t make you a loser forever unless you choose to.
I hope the 10 tips above are helpful in overcoming your feeling like a loser. Once you get rid of this lousy feeling, you will become unstoppable because what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
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