Are you a positive person? In life, everyone wants to be positive and no one wants to be negative. Unfortunately, there is a huge portion among us who are living through life negatively. We blame, complain, and act negatively toward the events in our life. But don’t worry, the solution is here.
When I first came across personal development through reading books many years ago, the first thing I learned is none other than the famous “positive thinking” habit.
We try to think and act positively. The problem with positive thinking is that we are often stuck in the situation and tend to focus on the negative.
By the time a problem occurs, it will be too late for our positive behavior to take effect. Unless the positive habit has become subconscious, we will think and act negatively.
The good news is that we can train our minds to focus on the positive rather than on the negative, like a muscle. The more we think positively, the more we will act that way whenever problems arise.
Here’s a great story to illustrate the point…
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
I still remembered when I was young, watching the famous cartoon, Tom and Jerry. When the mischievous cat, Tom wants to do something bad to the mouse, Jerry, an Angel and a Devil will pop up on both sides of his shoulder.
The Angel will tell Tom to stop and think about the good of Jerry. On the other hand, the Devil will convince Tom to catch and cook the mouse.
So who wins? The Angel or the Devil? The answer is whichever Tom chooses to focus on.
The same goes in our life, you and me. There are always positive and negative thoughts that we can choose and decide to focus on.
And like the story of the two wolves, the one that you choose to feed will win the fight. Thus, if you choose to dwell on the negative, the negativity will grow and expand.
Conversely, if you choose to focus on the positive, the positivity will grow and expand and make you a better person.
Therefore, all you need to do is to choose to focus and do something positive consciously. If you want to be a more positive person, you must start by being positive.
Here are 21 small steps how to be a more positive person in life. Go through the list, learn the steps and take conscious action to make positivity your habit.
1. Detach yourself from negativity
Whenever you feel stuck and lost in negativity, shout “Cancel!” out loud. You want to take control of your mind and refuse to let your mind think on autopilot.
When you lost a sale, instead of dwelling on the negative thoughts, take conscious control of your thoughts and start to think positive.
The problem is not a problem. The problem is our attitude toward the problem.
You can also wear a rubber band on your wrist. Whenever you found out yourself thinking negatively, snap the rubber band, feel the pain and train your mind to let go of the negative and focus on the positive.
2. Slow down
Sometimes, you have to slow down to feel positive and relaxed. When you go too fast, you will build up tension and feel stress.
Slow down and take a deep breath, even for just a few minutes, you will feel much better and able to tackle the problem more effectively.
Take a walk, get a nap, or simply walk away from the issue to relax. When you slow down, you will be able to think more easily and focus on the solution rather than the problem.
3. Let go of the past
This is a quote I like a lot:
“Learn from the past, dream about the future, and focus on the present.”
You cannot live a positive life if all you do is live in the past. You have to understand that whatever has happened, happened. And you cannot change that.
All you can do is choose to live in the now and focus on creating the future that you want.
I have seen people who are still holding on to anger from decades ago. They just can’t let go and choose to live in their past.
Come on, if you want to truly live, you must let go of what’s stopping you in the past. Get a life and think about your future.
Choose to dream or envision a better future that you want, and then focus all your energy and thoughts on the present to create the future you desire.
4. Understand you can’t control everything
Sometimes things will just happen and you cannot control everything. You cannot control the rain and you cannot control the traffic.
Hence, just accept it and move on. When the economy is down, stop complaining about it or blame the economy because your business is going south.
Instead, choose to accept and move on. Accidents and bad things can happen, we cannot control it, but there is one thing that we can do, learn to control our responses.
5. Learn to control your responses
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”
Two people are stuck in the traffic congestion, one chooses to control his response and he sings along with the songs from his radio, but another one chooses to blame and let anger takes control over him.
The situation is not going to define you. You are the one who can choose how you want to deal with what comes up in your life.
One powerful formula I learned from Jack Canfield is this, Event + Response = Outcome.
You can choose how you want to respond to get the outcome you desire. When it rains, it is an event that you cannot change, but you can change your response and dance in the rain.
6. Ask positive questions
Instead of asking “Why does this always happen to me?” ask a better and a more positive question, “Why am I so lucky?”
We are controlled by the questions we ask ourselves each day. If we ask a better question, we will get better answers.
Whenever I argue with my spouse, I will ask myself, “Why am I so lucky to have her in my life?” or “What am I trying to accomplish here?”
Trust me, every time I asked positive questions, my mind will search for relevant answers and that makes me refocus on the positives again.
So when you face challenges and setbacks, ask better questions such as “What can I learn from this?” or “What is good about this?”
Your mind will come up with positive answers and keep you motivated once more.
7. Encourage others
Studies have shown that if you want to get motivated, all you need to do is to motivate and encourage others.
Do you want to be happy? Try to smile and greet someone on the street. He or she will return the favor and makes you happy.
It is said that the fastest way to learn something is to share and teach someone about it. The same goes for managing positive energy in your life.
When you encourage others and motivate them, the energy will flow back to you. You will feel positive and driven too.
8. Get inspired by others
This is one of the easiest ways to stay positive in life. Just read a book or talk to someone positive, someone who will encourage and inspire you.
And when you do, you will feel much better. This is why I encourage my readers, you, to develop the habit of reading every single day. Read for at least 30 minutes or an hour a day.
The impact and the influence in your life are huge. When you read a motivational article, it inspires you and shows your dream is possible.
You cannot live in this world all by yourself. You need other people to inspire and drive you to achieve greater results in life.
9. Connect with the right people
When it comes to connecting with people, choose to mix with positive people. Try to avoid networking with negative people.
In fact, most successful gurus will tell you to run away fast when you see someone negative gets near you.
Successful people are successful because they mix and mingle with other successful people. There is no way you will see a professional athlete train with a rookie. If you want to go to the Olympics, you must train with other great players, not just anyone.
If you want to fly with the eagles, don’t swim with the ducks. Mix with people who you aspire to be.
10. Do what makes you joyful
You must do something that will make you feel happy and joyful from time to time. What are your hobbies and what activities will make you feel good?
If your hobby is jogging, then schedule to jog every day. It will make you feel great and positive because you are doing something that you love.
Like what I mentioned above, slow down and give yourself time to relax and recharge.
Positive people spend time doing things that will make them feel positive. And this is what you must do.
11. Imagine the positive possibilities
Always choose to focus on the positive side of things rather than the negative. When you have the idea of building an online business, choose to imagine the positive possibilities and not the negative ones. Think of how great your business will turn out, not how bad it will be.
Sometimes people tend to focus on the negative such as what if they fail, what if they can’t make it, or what if they lose all their money.
These negative thoughts are not going to help you one bit. Stop by shouting “Cancel!” And then choose to dwell on the positives. What if you did it? What if you succeed and become a millionaire?
When you think and imagine the positive, the more likely you will be inspired and are going to take action and achieve your goals.
12. Create a positive environment
The environment you are in is extremely important because it can either shape you or break you.
When you are working in a negative environment where your colleagues are discouraging and backstabbing each other, you will never grow in your career. Even if you did grow, you would become great at doing the same bad things.
Create a positive environment you want to be in. Start from your home. Watch less TV or completely get rid of it if you want to. Get a bookshelf and kick-start your reading habit. Listen to uplifting music and songs to stay positive each day.
There are many things you can do. You just need to be creative and come up with a better, helpful, and more positive environment that supports you in life.
13. Dream and set goals
Of all these 21 steps that I shared with you here, this is my favorite. I love to talk about dreams and goals.
Do you know that research has shown that when people dream about the ideal life or the things that they want, they will feel positive? The same goes for setting goals. When you think about your goals and imagine yourself accomplishing what you want in life, you will feel good, motivated, and positive.
Therefore, practice daily goal setting. Write down your top 10 goals that you want to achieve within 12 months every day.
And spend time dreaming about the things you want. Visualize yourself being successful and living the life you desire.
You will feel fresh and driven. More importantly, you will be more positive to tackle and go through life.
Albert Einstein once said:
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects.”
And he was right. You can learn how to set goals and achieve them with my ultimate guide here.
14. Move forward
Another method to stay positive is to consistently move forward. How do you feel when you know you are getting closer toward your dream life and are slowly reaching your goals?
You will feel extremely fulfilled and happy. You will feel positive too. So what you need to do is to commit to taking action each day.
If you commit to taking just 5 small steps a day, within a year, you will have accomplished 1825 small victories. And these small results will accumulate and get you to where you want to be.
And when you know you can reach your goals and dreams, you will feel positive and want to take even more action.
15. Live in the moment
Positive people learn from their past, they dream about their future and they live in the moment. They did not let their past drag them down nor feel overwhelmed about their future, they just live in the now.
Do you watch Kung Fu Panda? There is a quote I like a lot from Master Oogway, he said:
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift… That is why it is called the present.”
There is no point to worry about the past because you cannot change it. And there is no use to worry about the future because it is yet to come. All that matters is the present.
What you choose to do right now is the most important because it is what you can control. So do your best and live in this moment.
16. Smile and laugh more
The simplest way to stay positive is to smile and laugh more. It doesn’t matter even if there is nothing there for you to laugh or smile, just fake it.
Our emotions are created by our motions. When you sit in a good posture, walk with a straight back and talk faster, you tend to feel more energetic.
Do you know that every morning when I get into the bathroom to brush my teeth, I will look into the mirror and make a big smile on my face? I will then tell myself that today is going to be a great day.
I have been doing this for years and it never stops to amaze me how effective this technique can make me feel positive about life. Try it and you will know.
So smile more and live your life with more laughter.
17. Be grateful and thankful
If you want to be more positive, practice gratitude. Appreciate everything you have in life. Your phone, your laptop, your legs, your physical body, your health, your friends, your colleagues, your boss, your books, your desk, your family, your dogs, your car, your country, etc.
When you appreciate what you have, you will feel calm and be at peace. Stop comparing yourself to others; stop chasing for the next big shiny object so that you can prove to others you have made it.
Instead, choose to appreciate what you have right now. Choose to be grateful for who you are and where you are right now.
If you are grateful for what you have, you will feel rich even if you have just $1 in your pocket. If you did not appreciate what you have, you would feel broke even if you have a million dollars in the bank.
18. Exercise and get sweat
When you exercise and sweat, your brain will produce a group of hormones called endorphins and that will make you feel happy.
You don’t have to workout in the gym or lift the dumbbell. You can do it at home as long as you are stretching and sweating.
Swimming, jogging, playing tennis, running around, biking and do whatever that will exercise your physical body and make you sweat.
Not only exercise will make you healthy and more positive, but it can also release your tension and reduce your stress.
People who are working in the city require more time to exercise. Commit to spending at least 30 minutes a day exercising and sweating.
19. Do a kind deed
When you help others, you will be helped. If you want positivity in life, show positivity to others, and it will come back to you.
One of the golden rules of life is to treat others like how you want others to treat you. Thus, if you want to be happy, make others smile and laugh, make them happy and they will return the favor.
So do a kind deed every single day. Help people and wish for nothing in return. Help and serve others with a kind heart and positive intention.
You will feel great after you helped someone. You feel fulfilled and satisfied because you have touched someone’s life.
Hence, go ahead and help people each day. Do something good and you will be blessed with positivity.
20. Practice journaling
Another great way to become a more positive person is to practice journaling. You don’t have to be a great writer to do this.
What you want to do is to write down whatever has happened throughout the day. Or sometimes you can write down whatever thoughts that you have in your head.
When you write something every day, you will harness your creativity and boost your mental health. Not only that, whatever you write down can serve as a reminder of your mistakes, achievements, and even great moments you want to remember.
21. Read this blog
Finally, read this blog. I believe there are many benefits of reading. Most people feel sleepy when they pick up a book that is over 300 pages. And this is where this blog can help. The articles here are not as long as when you read a physical book, so make good use of these articles and you can digest them within minutes.
All you need to do is follow our Facebook fan page so that you will get updates from this blog constantly. More importantly, subscribe to this blog to get exclusive content that will change your life and make you more successful from time to time.
Remember these 21 small steps and apply them to be a more positive person in life. You can choose to implement some of these steps right away to feel the positive energy flowing.
So what do you do each day to stay positive? Remember to share with me and let me know what you think in the comment section below.
By the way, if you like what you read, do share this article with your friends to enlighten and make them feel positive too.