Success doesn’t come automatically. And one of the most important factors for success is none other than influence – the people who you spend time with.
It is easy to understand how the people we choose to surround ourselves with tend to impact and influence the way we think, act, and feel, on a daily basis.
Imagine spending time with a group of successful entrepreneurs and who are running multi-million dollar businesses, what do you think their conversation will be? Are they going to talk about how James is slacking in the office and who’s going to get their pay raise this month?
No, different groups of people tend to talk about different topics. And that is why when you surround yourself with successful entrepreneurs, you will engage yourself in topics like the current economic performance, what industry is going strong, and how to build and grow a successful business.
However, when you surround yourself with a group of lousy people who always blame and complain, all you hear about are their blames and complaints.
This is why whom you surround yourself with is important. They are going to influence the way you think and hence, the way you act in life.
Hence, you have to learn how to notice who to mix and surround yourself with.
If you want to fly with the eagle, then you should stop swimming with the ducks. Like attracts like. You can’t become rich and successful by having a bunch of lousy friends who always blame, complain, and think negatively.
So, here are the 7 types of people you should take note, learn from, and surround yourself with…
1. People who have big dreams and vision
This is obvious. If you want to succeed, you need to first start with a dream. You need to know where you want to go and what you want to accomplish before you can turn it into reality. And hence, this is why you want to surround yourself with people who have big dreams and visions.
People rarely talk about their dreams and goals with their friends. And those who do so are the ones who believe that they can do it. They are serious about their dreams and goals, and that is why they are sharing it with you.
Imagine you’re on the national basketball team. Do you want to make friends with people like Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James, or do you want to surround yourself with rookie players who play basketball just for fun?
When you talk to extraordinary people like Michael Jordan and the late Kobe Bryant, I believe you can feel their commitment to their dreams. They talked about winning the championships and becoming the best all the time.
Extraordinary people rarely surround themselves with mediocre people. This is why champions usually have other champions’ friends.
People who want to accomplish amazing results in life must be visionary. They have to think big and far into the future.
They don’t focus on the short-term. Instead, they focus on the long-term. They have a big dream and they align what they do every day with their dream in the future.
In his best-selling book, The E-Myth Revisited, Michael Gerber shared an example of how Thomas J. Watson grew IBM to an international business empire by being visionary.
IBM is what it is today for three special reasons. The first reason is that, at the very beginning, I had a very clear picture of what the company would look like when it was finally done. You might say I had a model in my mind of what it would look like when the dream — my vision — was in place.
The second reason was that once I had that picture, I then asked myself how a company that looked like that would have to act. I then created a picture of how IBM would act when it was finally done.
The third reason IBM has been so successful was that once I had a picture of how IBM would look when the dream was in place and how such a company would have to act, I then realized that, unless we began to act that way from the very beginning, we would never get there.
In other words, I realized that for IBM to become a great company it would have to act like a great company long before it ever became one.
From the very outset, IBM was fashioned after the template of my vision. And each and every day we attempted to model the company after that template. At the end of each day, we asked ourselves how well we did, discovered the disparity between where we were and where we had committed ourselves to be, and, at the start of the following day, set out to make up for the difference.
Every day at IBM was a day devoted to business development, not doing business.
We didn’t do business at IBM, we built one.
I suggest you get the book, The E-Myth Revisited and read it. Michael Gerber shares his wisdom about why most small businesses fail and how you can overcome them.
2. People who have a growth mindset
Basically, there are 2 types of mindsets that shape the way we think: growth and fixed.
You want to surround yourself with people who have a growth mindset, not a fixed mindset.
People with a growth mindset tend to believe that anything is possible. They have a goal and they believe that they can achieve it. They look at failures as an opportunity to grow. And they are open to learning new things and are willing to challenge themselves for change.
On the other hand, people with a fixed mindset don’t believe what they want is possible. They look at failure as obstacles and they don’t like the idea of venturing out of their comfort zone. They are not willing to change, and they look at challenges as limits that stop them.
Carol Dweck is a researcher from Stanford University. She is famously known for her work about the growth mindset VS the fixed mindset. And this is how she describes the 2 types of mindsets:
In a fixed mindset, students believe their basic abilities, their intelligence, their talents, are just fixed traits. They have a certain amount and that’s that, and then their goal becomes to look smart all the time and never look dumb. In a growth mindset, students understand that their talents and abilities can be developed through effort, good teaching, and persistence. They don’t necessarily think everyone’s the same or anyone can be Einstein, but they believe everyone can get smarter if they work at it.
Carol Dweck
If you want to learn more about growth and fixed mindsets, I suggest you read this article here.
Now, you want to surround yourself with people who are open to learning, to make positive changes, and believe that things are possible.
You don’t want to surround yourself with people who make mistakes and then give up. You want to learn from great people like Elon Musk, right?
SpaceX almost went bankrupt after they failed their first 3 launches. But Elon isn’t someone who is going to let things happen.
Many people only heard about the successes of SpaceX, but little did they know that SpaceX started with just a few people who didn’t really know how to build rockets. And Elon Musk ended up being the chief engineer or chief designer, not because he wanted to, but because he couldn’t hire anyone who knows how to make rockets.
And according to this article on CNBC, SpaceX nearly ran out of money…
“I messed up the first three launches. The first three launches failed. And fortunately the fourth launch, which was, that was the last money that we had for Falcon 1. That fourth launch worked. Or it would have been — that would have been it for SpaceX. But fate liked us that day. So, the fourth launch worked,” says Musk.
Despite all the difficulties and challenges, Musk did not give up. And that’s the prime example of a growth mindset at work.
You have to look at all the challenges as a growth factor rather than a ‘fixed’ obstacle that stops you.
Therefore, surround yourself with people who have a growth mindset. And I’m sure their thinking will influence you.
3. People who are always learning
Apparently, you want to get around people who are lifelong learners. You don’t want to surround yourself with people who think they know it all. Instead, you want to surround yourself with learners.
Learning and improving yourself is the surest way to succeed in your business, career, and life. Nobody was born a champion. A champion is made.
Meaning, you can win at everything you do, and you can achieve whatever goals you want, as long as you’re willing to learn about them and improve yourself to them.
Imagine if you want to invest in the stock market, but you have no idea which stock to pick. What if Warren Buffett is there to give you some suggestions?
In 2000, Warren Buffett told a group of MBA students at Columbia Business School, “Read 500 pages like this every day.” And then he continued to say, “That’s how knowledge works. It builds up, like compound interest. All of you can do it, but I guarantee not very many of you will do it.”
Yes, knowledge is like compound interest, it builds up. But most people don’t want to learn because reading and learning are too boring.
People prefer to spend time on social media and watching YouTube and Netflix rather than spending time investing in themselves.
And whenever you see someone who is a lifelong learner, who reads a lot, who is constantly improving himself or herself, go and make him or her your friends.
This is because learning is one of the most fundamental principles of success. If you want to succeed, you need to grow yourself to become the right person who is worthy of success. And to grow, you need to learn.
Read: 10 Great Ways How to Invest in Yourself to Achieve Real Success
4. Optimistic people
This is common sense. Optimistic people are people who are always thinking on the bright side. Now, positive thinking may not guarantee your success, but when you think positively, it does help to make your life better.
You can’t live a good life by thinking negatively all the time. People who think positive are people who believe in possibilities.
If you don’t believe positive thinking works, just imagine this situation…
Imagine you are taking a stroll by the riverside in a rural resort. The weather is nice, you can hear the birds chirping and feel the cool breeze hitting your face. It is a nice feeling and you feel good about it.
Now, guess what will happen if you see a crocodile appears out from the river and is moving towards you? What will you do and what will you think about it?
At that moment, you fill your mind with threats and fears. You will want to run away from the crocodile as soon as possible. You don’t care about the birds chirping in the background and you certainly don’t care if the weather is perfect. All you want to do is to get yourself to a safe place.
This is what happens when you start thinking negatively. Your mind will focus on the negative, the fears, the threats, the problems, etc.
You will be blinded by the negative thoughts. As a result, you limit yourself from seeing all the good things around you. Do you get that?
This is why you want to surround yourself with positive people rather than negative people. Positive people tend to focus and think about the solution, which, on the contrary, negative people tend to focus and think about the problem.
Check out this article to understand how positive thinking can affect your success in life.
But, how do you identify positive people? Well, this article from Bustle.com shares the 17 habits of positive people. Whenever you notice someone with these traits, you know they are optimistic people.
5. People who have success habits, characters, and attitudes
Do I need to explain more about this? You know that you become who you surround yourself with most of the time, hence if you want to be successful, you will have to surround and make friends with people who have the success habits, characters, and attitudes.
In my previous post, I shared the top 10 attitudes and behaviors of successful people:
1) Have a strong desire to achieve more
Yes, surround yourself with people who have a strong desire to achieve more. Make friends with people who are always looking for bigger goals and desire to achieve better success in life.
2) Have passion and enthusiasm at work
Do the people you mix with are passionate and have enthusiasm for their work? If they don’t, perhaps, you are joining the wrong group.
3) Commit to mastery
Extraordinary people are always looking for ways to grow, improve, and become a master at what they do. You want to surround yourself with these types of people.
4) Do things others don’t want to do
Successful people are people who are willing to do things that others don’t want to do. For example, most people are not willing to go the extra mile and do the uncomfortable. But when you do, that’s what will separate you from the ordinary. Here’s a great saying from Robert Kiyosaki:
When someone says, “I don’t want to fix toilets,” they’re saying that little problems like toilets are more important than their financial freedom, which is the big picture. I talk about getting out of the Rat Race and they talk about toilets. That thinking keeps most people poor.
Robert Kiyosaki
Yes, most people don’t want to fix the leaky toilets. The ones who did that are the ones who invest in real estate and succeed financially. So, do what others are not willing to do.
5) Always optimistic
As I have mentioned above, if you want to be successful, you need to develop the attitude of being optimistic all the time. Remember, you can’t live a positive life by thinking negatively all the time.
6) Are goals oriented
One of the good habits of successful people is that they are goals oriented. They know what they want, set it as a goal, and are working relentlessly toward their goal.
I strongly recommend you take my course: Goal Setting Formula. You will learn how to find out what you want to achieve, take charge of your life, and achieve real success through setting empowering goals.
7) Believe the impossible
Again, extraordinary people believe everything is possible as long as they put their minds to it. Remember the growth mindset? Surround yourself with people who believe in the impossible.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
George Bernard Shaw
8) Focus on vision
Once again, you need to be visionary. Think long-term and imagine the future you want, and then build it from now on. Read this article and learn how to foster your long-term thinking:
How to Think Long-Term: 7 Tips to Foster Your Long-Term Thinking
9) Work hard strategically
Yes, surround yourself with people who work hard. Of course, don’t just work hard on the wrong thing, you want to make sure you are working hard at the right thing and approach. Check out this article and fulfill the 5 principles before you give your best and work hard for your goals and dreams.
10) Strong determination and never give up
Have you seen determined people who never give up? If you did, make them your friends so that you will learn their character of never quit.
6. People who are curious and ask questions
I love this quote from Steve Jobs, “Stay hungry, stay foolish.” That’s the spirit you want to learn. Hence, surround yourself with people who are curious and who are always asking questions because they want to learn more.
One way to expand your knowledge is through curiosity and asking questions. If you think you already know it all, you will never learn anything new.
Be like a sponge. Always ready to absorb the new skills, knowledge, thinking, beliefs, and characters that empower you. At the same time, release and let go of the bad ones that don’t help.
Think about it, most of the breakthrough discoveries and amazing inventions throughout history were the results of curiosity. From using flints for starting a fire to landing on the moon to self-driving cars, people achieved those extraordinary feats through curiosity.
According to this article from Harvard Business Review, when your curiosity is triggered, you tend to think more deeply and rationally about decisions and come up with more creative solutions.
Curious people are more likely to perform better and succeed in life. Thus, network with these people and make them a part of your circle of influence.
By the way, if you want to learn how to develop your curiosity, read this guide from Curiositas.
7. People who work hard relentlessly
When we talked about the characters of successful people, I have mentioned about surrounding yourself with people who work hard. This is simply because working hard is one of the most basic keys to achieving anything you want in life.
There is no other way around hard work. Yes, you can work smart, but you can’t out-compete people who work smart and hard. These days, the competition is tough. You need to develop the characters of working hard and smart.
This is why you want to get close to people who are hard workers. Do you know how extraordinary people like Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Elon Musk, etc., achieved success in their field?
Well, it is because of their hard work. In this Medium article, I posted some time ago, I shared the story of how Tiger Woods was training in the heavy rain from 11 PM to 3 AM. Because California doesn’t rain that often, Tiger took the chance to train when it rained, even if it is at midnight.
So, you must be willing to work hard… and smart. Therefore, you also want to surround yourself with people who are the same, the hard worker.
Conclusion
It is important to surround yourself with the right type of people so that you will be positively influenced. Jim Rohn once said that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, and he was right.
Follow the tips in this article. Surround yourself with these 7 types of people and you will slowly move yourself to live a more successful life.
Do you agree with the types of people I shared above? Let me know your opinion in the comment section below.