Ah, negative thinking, one of the most common factors that prevent most people from achieving their goals, moving forward, and living a successful life. We know we should stop negative thoughts from entering our minds but saying is easier than done. In this article, I’m going to share with you the 7 techniques of how you can prevent yourself from thinking negatively.
I believe that no matter who you are in this world, even if you are a leader of a country, there are times when you will feel negative.
Unless maybe you’re a highly trained monk, then perhaps, negativity will not affect you.
The point is that as human beings, it is normal to be affected by our thinking. The way we think will greatly impact our emotions. And our emotions will determine what we do, and ultimately, the results we get in our lives.
And here’s one thing you need to understand before you learn how to stop negative thoughts:
There are no positive or negative thoughts
Yes, there is no such thing as a good or bad thought. Every thinking that we have is neither positive nor negative.
It is the meaning that we give to the thought that makes it so.
Meaning, when something happens, it can be a good thing or it can be a bad thing, depending on what thought you’re associating with the situation.
Here’s a story to reflect what I mean…
A farmer and his son had a beloved horse. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck.” The farmer then replied, “Maybe.”
The next day, the horse returned home with another wild horse. And the neighbors said, “Your horse returned, how wonderful.” Again, the farmer just replied, “Maybe.”
The following day, his son tried to ride the wild horse but was thrown to the ground and broke his leg. The neighbors again, said, “How terrible that your son broke his leg.” The farmer again replied with a simple “Maybe.”
The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young people into the army. And because the son’s leg was broken, he was exempted. The neighbors then congratulate the farmer on how well things had turned out. “Maybe,” said the farmer.
This may be a silly story, but it tells us one thing – there is no such thing as a good or bad thought. It all depends on how you look at the situation.
Like what Henry Ford famously said:
“Whether you think you can, or you can’t, you’re right.”
Henry Ford
Yes, there is no positive or negative thought, it is the way that you interpret it that matters.
Now that you understand this, it is time to learn the 7 methods you can use to stop negative thinking from entering your mind.
1. Be conscious about your thoughts
First thing first, the only way you can tell if you are thinking negatively is by being aware of your thinking.
You can’t fix something if you don’t know if it is broken. You can only fix it after you discovered that the thing is broken.
The same principle applies to negative thinking. You must be aware of your thoughts to know that they are negative and so you can do something to stop them.
The problem with most people is that they are not aware of the way how their thinking can shape their lives. They just let things be.
Even when they are thinking negatively, they are not aware of it. As a result, they fall into the negative cycle and make the situation worse.
Now that you know this, what you need to do then is to be conscious of your thoughts. Understand what is going into your mind as much as possible.
And when you found that you are thinking negatively, interrupt the pattern by saying “cancel” out loud.
You want to distract the negative thinking cycle so that you will not fall prey and continue to think negatively.
Action Step:
Use an hourly chime App to constantly remind yourself of your thinking pattern. When it chimes, stop and be aware of your thoughts. What are you thinking about and what are you doing at the moment?
And if you discover you are in a negative thinking cycle, stop the pattern by interrupting it. This is how you can be aware of your thinking and prevent negative thoughts from entering your mind.
2. Reframe the negative situation
Next, reframe the negative situation. As I have said above, there is no such thing as a good or bad thought. It all depends on how you frame the situation.
Think about it, when someone cut you in line while you’re driving, your automatic reaction may kick in and you will feel angry about it.
But what if that person who cuts you is in an emergency to the hospital? You won’t feel angry anymore, right?
That’s the power of reframing.
If you read the famous book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the author Stephen Covey called this “paradigm shift”.
By the way, it is a must-read book that I strongly recommend you read. If you haven’t read this book yet, buy it now and read it because your life will never be the same again.
In the book, the late Stephen Covey gave a great example of how reframing can change the way you think and feel about a situation:
I remember a mini-paradigm shift I experienced one morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly – some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene.
Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.
The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.
It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too.
So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?”
The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.”
Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain.
Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. “Your wife just died? Oh, I’m so sorry! Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?” Everything changed in an instant.
Do you notice how things can change in an instant? That’s a paradigm shift. That’s reframing.
Action Step:
When you found that you are thinking negatively, reframe the situation. Turn it from a negative point of view to a positive one.
Here’s an example. When it rains, most people will complain about how inconvenient things will become. But you need to reframe the situation and think from a positive point of view.
Instead of saying that rain causes traffic congestion and inconveniences, take it as an opportunity to 10X your business. Work twice harder when it rains to visit your clients and show how passionate you are to serve your customers.
When it rains, most people will slack off and become lazy, and that includes your competitors. Hence, it is a great chance to sprint and create more results and surpass your competitors.
3. Use the 5-minute regulation rule
Do you think that we shouldn’t think negatively at any moment? No, you’re wrong. The answer is yes, we can think negatively and in fact, we should.
Why? Simple, because we’re human beings and are creatures of emotions. It can be difficult to identify and stop all negative thoughts from entering our minds.
But here’s what we can do according to Hal Elrod, the best-selling author of The Miracle Morning.
Elrod started his career in direct selling. He faced rejections after rejections, failed goals, canceled orders, and many other disappointments.
But one day, his boss shared a simple technique to regulate his emotions in tough times. And according to his “5-minute regulation rule”, when things go wrong, you can allow yourself to be completely negative, but no more than 5 minutes.
Meaning, in that 5 minutes, you can rant, you can blame, you can imagine the worst, shout, moan, complain, whine, look for excuses, and do every negative thing you can think of, and then when the 5 minutes is up, take a deep breath and say these 3 words:
“Can’t change it.”
When you do this, it gives you a sense of acknowledgment that you can’t change what has happened. And so, there is no point to linger in negativity anymore.
And after that, shift your gear to work on what you can.
You see, thinking negatively can’t help. Hence, there is no point to keep thinking negatively about it.
And you have already given yourself 5 minutes of negative thinking, it is enough to move on and move forward.
As Elrod did, just accept your situation no matter how negative it is. You can’t change what has happened, but you can always do something right now to build a better and more positive future.
Action Step:
When needed, use the 5-Minute Regulation Rule to let out your negativity, but no longer than 5 minutes. When the time is up, tell yourself, “can’t change it,” and then move on and focus on what you can do.
4. Infuse yourself with positivity
Do you know that you can only allow one thought to enter your mind at a time?
And because of this, you can easily stop yourself from thinking negatively by infusing yourself with positivity.
What I mean is that you just need to constantly “put in” positive thoughts into your head.
Rather than letting the negative thoughts to have the chance to invade your mind, choose to consciously think positive.
It’s like an opportunity cost. You can’t think both negative and positive at the same time, that’ll make you go crazy.
And since you can choose what to allow to enter your mind, choose the positive.
This is why I love to read. When I read, I’m putting good thoughts into my mind. Rather than allowing myself to have time to think negatively or to worry if things are not going to work, I choose to be proactive and infuse my mind with positive thoughts.
You can do the same. Include the daily activities that will make you think positively.
Action Step:
Each day, infuse yourself with positive energy and do things that will make you think and feel positive.
You have to be proactive and be the one to choose what thoughts to go into your mind. Rather than allowing yourself to be reactive and do nothing, choose to be the first one to act.
Here are some suggestions of what you can do to make yourself feel and think positive:
- Read an inspirational book
- Watch an uplifting video
- Do what you love
- Practice gratitude
- Express your love
- Track, measure and review your goals
- Visualize the perfect life you want
- Spend time with positive people
- Practice positive affirmations
There are plenty of things you can do to make you feel positive. Check out some of the resources below:
- The Top 10 Positive Attitudes and Behaviors Your Need to Succeed in Life
- 77 Positive Affirmations to Start the Day
- How To Stay Positive No Matter What Happens In Life
- 21 Small Steps How To Be A More Positive Person In Life
5. Return to your sanctuary
Another good method to stop negative thinking from entering your mind is to return to your sanctuary. I learned this method from Dave Asprey, the founder of Bulletproof Coffee.
What you can do is simple, just return to a place where it makes you feel calm, peaceful, and harmonious.
For instance, if you encounter a tough situation in the office, you feel negative, pressured, and stressed, just return to your sanctuary, like your home.
A lot of people feel stressed and negative in the office, but when they get back to their home where their children and lovers greet them, they feel safe and out of sudden, their negativity disappears.
Now, you may think that what if you are feeling negative, but you can’t return home?
Well, here’s a quick tip, just take a 5 minutes break and imagine yourself returning to your sanctuary.
And your sanctuary doesn’t need to be your home. It can be anywhere. Maybe it is a resort that you’ve been to or a vacation place that makes you feel positive and calm.
Visualize and see yourself being in a place where you feel peaceful, positive, and calm.
When you do this, trust me, the negative energy and all your negative thoughts will not be able to get through to you.
It’s like whenever you feel down, think of the people you love, your colleagues who support you, your friends and your family members who encourage you, and use their positive energy to get rid of your negative thinking.
Action Step:
You can use this technique regardless of whether you are thinking negatively. It can recharge your energy and inspire you to do better.
When things are not going right, just take a short break and then visualize yourself returning to your sanctuary. See yourself in calm, peace, and are grateful for everything you have.
This will recharge you and inspire you to focus on the solution, not the problem. Better yet, it helps you transform your negative thoughts into positive ones.
6. Ask yourself empowering questions
I bet you have heard about this a gazillion times and you probably know this, too, that to prevent negative thinking, you need to focus on what you can do.
It is easy to understand, but hard when it comes to implementation.
We all know that we should focus on the solutions instead of the problem. But when things happen, we just lost it. We think negative and we feel negative. And things are not improving.
Therefore, what you can do here is to ask yourself this question:
“What can I do to improve the situation?”
When you ask yourself this question, you force your mind to think about the solution rather than the problem.
Our minds work like Google. It will give you what you seek. If you type in “life’s common problems” on Google and click search, it will give you all the common problems that people face in life.
On the contrary, if you key in phrases like “success stories”, Google will return you with relevant life success stories that can inspire you.
And our minds work the same. What you seek, you will get.
You can choose to focus on the problems which make you feel even more negative. Or you can choose to focus on what you can do to improve the situation that helps you become more positive.
Tony Robbins, one of the most famous success coaches in the world once said:
“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”
Tony Robbins
What you need to do then, is to ask better questions. Ask yourself empowering questions that will spark your motivation and inspire you to focus on the positive, not the negative.
Action Step:
Use questions to direct your life. You’re always asking questions in your head. Like, “what should I do now”, “what to eat as lunch”, “why does this happens to me”, “what does this mean”, etc.
Therefore, change your questions. When you ask better questions, you get better answers, and thus, you’re able to achieve better results in life.
Below are 3 guides to help you further understand the power of asking empowering questions:
- 10 Motivational Questions that Reignite Your Drive and Passion
- Want to Transform Your Life? Ask Yourself These Questions
- The 3 Questions that Motivate and Keep Me On Track
7. Focus on your future
So, you want to stop negative thinking from entering your mind? You just need to understand this – things come and go, and it can’t rain forever.
No matter how tough the situation you’re in right now, you will never be in it all the time. Things are going to change.
And when you’re feeling negative or are thinking negatively, just understand the fact that things will never be the same. It will change.
It can’t rain all the time. And guess what, after the rain is over, there will be sunshine, and you may even get a chance to see a rainbow.
That’s how life has been and always will be.
Whatever hardships you’re going through right now won’t stay forever. Things will change, you will get better, and as you improve, so with your situation too.
And since things are going to be changing anyway, it is better to focus on your future rather than on your past or whatever that has happened, right?
You have to understand that in order to create a good life, you have to start doing it right now.
Your tomorrow will not change if all you do is thinking about your yesterday and choose to do nothing today.
Action Step:
I discovered a very interesting method that can help you focus on your future from 7cups.com.
Here’s what you need to do:
Take a piece of paper, draw a long straight line from one end to another. And draw dots on that line from end to end. Make 100 dots and then count them from left to right.
As you count the dots, stop at the dot that corresponds with how old you are. Now, notice how many dots are there to the right side of the line. With each dot representing a year, look at how much time you have left in life.
A dot means a year. And that’s 365 days or 8,760 hours. Now, as you look at all the dots to the right, don’t tell me that you’re going to waste all the dots (years) available to you.
Stop telling me that you can’t do anything or how tough your situation is. When you look at your lifeline and all the dots that are still left on the right side, you still have time to create the future you want.
Yes, you may have used up some of the dots on the left, depending on your age now. However, it doesn’t mean you don’t have many years left. There are still chances and opportunities for you to make a change and start building your ideal future.
But this is only happening IF you take the chances now.
So, stop thinking negatively, and start focusing on your future.
Your future is created today, not tomorrow, not ten years from now. Do what you can and create the successful life you deserve.
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