how to stop self sabotage

Have you ever set goals or work on a project, but only to discover that you self-sabotage your own success? Like, you procrastinate on the goal, you know you can do it, but you just don’t do it, or you do some silly things that end up failing the project…

These are the signs of someone who self-sabotage their own success.

Do you know that most US lottery winners went bankrupt, and their financial success seems to be short-lived?

According to this article on WolfStreet.com, lottery winners are more likely to declare bankruptcy within three to five years than the average American.

And why is that?

One of the main reasons is the lack of financial education and lack of money management skills.

You see, when you are suddenly given a huge amount of money to handle, but you have no idea how to manage it, you will squander it all and lose it all in a short period.

The same goes for success.

Why People Sabotage Their Success and Fail

Success, for most people, is just the outcomes and results…

  • When you are rich, you are successful.
  • When you are the CEO of a multinational company, you are successful.
  • When you have a million subscribers on YouTube or Instagram, you are successful.

This is how society defines success… BUT, real success is not about the outcome/result.

It is about YOU.

Think about it, if you are suddenly given $100 million, but you lack the skills and mindset to manage it, you will quickly lose it all.

You may think that you know how to invest or save or multiply the $100 million you receive, but that’s just what you think.

The truth is, if you have the knowledge on how to manage $100 million, you’d already have that amount of money with you.

Do you get that?

It is not about the event, it is about you!

And that is why most people sabotage their success.

They haven’t developed themselves into the right person with the right mindset and skill, and when they are given success, like a huge sum of money or when their business exploded, they don’t know how to handle it.

And thus, they will quickly lose it all.

This is why most lottery winners lose all their money and some have to file for bankruptcy after the initial strike-of-luck.

And this also explains why most people who started their businesses fail in the first 5 years.

This article on Investopedia says that small startup failure rates are around 90%!

So, how do you overcome this? How do you stop yourself from sabotaging the success you desire or are already enjoying?

Here are 3 reasons why people self-sabotage and how you can overcome it…

1. Misalignment of Mindset and Beliefs

That’s right, when you don’t have the right mindset or the right belief system, you will sabotage your own success.

Take the classic lottery winning as an example. When you win the lottery, you will be given a chance to handle a large sum of money.

However, if you lack the money mindset and the right beliefs about money, guess what, you will quickly spend all the money you won, and maybe even go into debt and have to file for bankruptcy after that.

Why? Simple, because you don’t have the right skills and mentality to handle the money.

Because if you had, you would be living a wealthy life now, right?

Read: 7 Uncomfortable Truths About Success No One Talks About

So, how do you overcome this? Transform yourself into the right person. Develop the right mindset with the right money beliefs.

For instance, do you know that most people spend their money and invest what is left, but those who are doing well financially pay themselves first by investing, and then only spend what is left?

Plus, many people who achieve financial success in life are entrepreneurs. They are business owners. They don’t hold a job, even if they do have a job, it is because they want to learn more about how the industry works.

Therefore, you have to do the same.

You have to think and act like a successful person if you want to be successful. Birds of the same feather flock together. If you want to fly with the eagles, you will have to stop swimming with the ducks.

Upgrade yourself. Read more books. Network and spend most of your time with people who you want to become. And eventually, you will develop the mindsets and beliefs of the person you desire to be.

If you want to develop a millionaire mindset, I suggest you read this book: Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, written by Harv Eker…

secrets of the millionaire mind
One of the best books on financial mindset. Get this book from Amazon.

2. Disempowering Behaviors and Habits

The second reason most people self-sabotage is their disempowering habits and behaviors.

Imagine you are overweight, and you want to lose all the additional fat and get back in shape. How do you do it?

The fastest way is to take weight loss pills. Within a few short weeks, your body will burn the additional fat and you will get back in shape in no time.

But do you know that this is just a short-term and temporary solution?

Well, this article on Matthewsmd.com says it perfectly:

“Even if pills can suppress your appetite or increase your heart rate so that you lose weight faster, they aren’t going to be successful in the long term because they don’t result in major lifestyle changes. In order to lose weight and keep it off, you simply have to change how you go about your day-to-day life. Weight management means changing your diet and changing how much physical activity you do. Just taking a pill won’t lead to the creation of a lifestyle that results in weight loss.”

As long as you don’t change your habit and behavior, you will gain back all the fat and quickly gain weight.

In other words, there are no shortcuts to success.

You will have to develop the right habits and behaviors if you want to maintain your success and sustain it over the long term.

If you have the habit of snacking and that’s the reason you gain weight, you have to stop the habit so that you will overcome the root cause of your problem.

When the boat is leaked, the only way to stop it from leaking is to fix the leak, right? You find the root cause of the problem and you fix it, you don’t fix the symptom.

And the same principle applies to your life and all the success you want.

If you don’t develop the right habits and behaviors, you will quickly fall back to square one and lose all the success you got.

So, how do you develop success habits and behaviors? Here are some resources to help:

Or better yet, learn how to develop the right habits from the expert in the field. Read this book from James Clear, Atomic Habits.

atomic-habits
Want to develop success habits? Read this. Get this book from Amazon.

3. Unsupportive Environment and Surroundings

And the third reason most people sabotage their success is due to the unsupportive environment and surroundings they are in.

The environment you are in plays an important role in determining your success in everything you do. Read my posts:

How Your Environment Affect You and Your Success in Life

Here’s a simple example to understand how the environment can affect your success in life. Just imagine your goal is to write a report. And you can do it in one of these 2 locations:

  1. A quiet and comfortable library, or
  2. A noisy and overcrowded wet market.

So, tell me, if your goal is to write a report, which location do you prefer to do in? The answer is clear, right?

This is why your environment plays a crucial role in shaping you and attracting the success you want.

Why do you think people want to migrate to a better and more developed country? Or move to the city or a better location?

The answer is simple – more opportunities.

Your environment will shape your life. And hence, you want to build a supportive environment and surroundings that empower your success.

And this includes the people who you mix and spend time with. According to Nicholas Christakis, non-drinkers who spend time with people who drink significantly increase their chances of becoming drinkers themselves…

“People were 50 percent more likely to be heavy drinkers if one of their friends or relatives drank heavily. However, if a friend-of-a-friend drank heavily, people were only 36 percent more likely to do so, and if a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend drank heavily, they were 15 percent more likely to do so.”

So, how do you change your environment and build encouraging surroundings? Check out these guides:

Conclusion

Now you understand why people self-sabotage their success. It is not that they don’t want to be successful, we all do. But oftentimes, we sabotage subconsciously because we are NOT conditioned for the change we want.

And once you develop yourself into the right person worthy of success, with the right mindset and belief, the right habits and behaviors, and are supported with the right environment and surroundings, your success will be long-lived.

Therefore, you should know what you need to do – Upgrade your skills, improve your knowledge, and work on yourself!

This article may contain affiliate links. Meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. As always, I only recommend products and services I trust.

By Shawn Lim

Hi there, this is Shawn. I inspire people to achieve their goals and dreams and to reach for higher success in life. If you want to learn more about me, kindly go to the About page. By the way, have you downloaded your FREE copy of The 90-90-1 Rule? Don't forget to do so. Cheers. :)

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