Just a couple of days ago, I came across this inspiring quote…
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
That’s right. The biggest failure in life is not that you tried and failed.
The biggest failure in life is you doubt yourself and you don’t live life with your full potential.
- You don’t dare to try things out because you doubt yourself.
- You have a dream, but you don’t do anything about it because you doubt yourself.
- You know you can do so much more, and you can live a great life, but you don’t do anything about it because you doubt yourself.
Many years ago, when I wanted to start this blog, I doubt myself if I can make it.
I doubt myself if people are going to understand what I’m writing or talking about because English isn’t my main language.
And I told myself, “Heck, I don’t care, let’s just do it.”
Look at how this blog has turned out. Over 1,000 people visit this blog every day and read what I published on the internet.
I’m not trying to brag, but I’m trying to tell you that you need to learn how to stop doubting yourself and start taking action.
It is the same when I decided to put myself in front of the camera and start a YouTube channel to talk about self-improvement.
I doubt myself…
- “Who am I to teach and share about self-improvement?”
- “What if I’m not good in front of the camera?”
- “What if nobody watches my videos?”
Again, I tell myself, “Heck, I don’t care, I’m just going to do it.”
And I started a YouTube channel to talk about personal development and share tips and strategies about how to live a better and more successful life.
You can check out my YouTube channel here.
So, in this article, I’m going to share with you a couple of methods on what you can do when you doubt yourself…
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
The first thing you should do when you start to doubt yourself is to stop playing the comparison game. People will doubt themselves the most when they compare themselves to others.
When you see a friend who is doing better than you, you started to think that you’re inferior and that you’re inadequate.
I’m not a gifted writer. It took me a long time to grow my blog to this point. And sometimes when I looked at others who have created better blogs than I am, I started to doubt myself if I should continue to blog.
The same goes for building a YouTube channel. When I see someone who has a better channel in the same niche, I wonder what I’ve done wrong or whether I should just give up or start another channel in another niche.
But the moment I stop comparing myself to others, my self-doubt will go away.
The irony is most of the time, most people compare their beginnings with others’ middle.
If you are starting a business, you shouldn’t compare yourself with someone who has been doing it for years.
The next time you want to compare yourself with others, just remember this quote from Dale Carnegie…
“One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.”
Read: 13 Things to Do Instead of Comparing Yourself to Others
2. Forget how others will think about you and focus on yourself
Focus on yourself, not others. It doesn’t matter what others think about you. The key is how you think about yourself.
If you are someone who always wonders what others think about you, you should embrace the 20-40-60 Rule. Here’s what the rule says…
“When you are 20, you care about what everybody thinks of you. When you are 40, you don’t care about what people think of you, and when you are 60, you actually understand that people were too busy thinking about themselves.”
The takeaway is that people are too busy with their own life, and they don’t care about you or what you think.
Even if other people have time to think about it, most of the time, they are thinking about what you think about them.
Do you get that? So don’t worry about what others will think about you, because most people don’t have the time to do that as they are too busy with their lives.
What you should do is focus on yourself. Pay attention to yourself.
Sometimes, you need to be selfish and think for yourself.
Imagine if Elon Musk worried about what people will say about Tesla or SpaceX, he would never have launched both companies.
Arnold Schwarzenegger said when he wanted to venture into an acting career, people told him that his body is too bulky and his name is too difficult to pronounce and that he will never make it.
But Arnold did it anyway. And the rest was history. Arnold became a famous Hollywood actor despite all the odds.
If Arnold worries about how others thought about him, he would have never made it in the filming industry. And there will be no Terminator and other great movies from him.
Therefore, ignore the naysayers and don’t worry about how others think about you. Just do it.
Read: Arnold Schwarzenegger and His 6 Rules of Success
3. No one is perfect, and you can learn and improve yourself along the way
When you doubt yourself whether you are good enough or whether you can do it, just tell yourself no one is perfect.
You have to understand that every master was once a beginner. No one started at the top.
The man on the top of the mountain didn’t fall there. And just like everyone else, if you want to get to the top of the mountain, you need to climb it.
The best part is that you don’t have to be perfect or the best, you can learn and improve yourself along the way.
When you doubt yourself if you are a good writer or whether you should write a book, just do it. You can learn and improve along the way.
Your skills don’t matter. What truly matters is you commit to the process and have the determination to learn and get better at what you do.
Many New York Times best-selling authors are not born with talent. They started somewhere…
James Clear, one of my favorite writers who wrote Atomic Habits started as a blogger. He mentioned in his blog that the process is the key, not the goal or result. And anyone can get good at what he does if he is willing to commit to showing up, making the progress, and being consistent.
If you want to be good at something, you must first be willing to be bad at it. So, don’t let your self-doubt talk you out of it.
Read: How To Improve Yourself Everyday By Setting Benchmark Goals
4. Read and listen to how others have done it
Another great way to stop doubting yourself is to listen or read about what and how others have done it.
You see, no matter what it is that you want to achieve in life, someone out there has done it before. And all you need to do is to seek out how he has done it and model the process.
When you doubt yourself, read and learn how others have gone through the same situation as you, or even worse situation than you, and still succeed.
Just like when your motivation and confidence are low, and you started to doubt yourself if you can do it, just pick up a book and read about how others have gone through difficult times and still succeed.
This will surely inspire you and keep your confidence high. And this is also one of the reasons I commit to reading every day.
Read: 20 Best Success Books Everyone Should Read (Updated 2022)
The more you read, the more you will understand that mistakes and failures are common. And there is really no need to feel embarrassed when you make a mistake.
Instead of feeling embarrassed because you make a mistake or fail, own it and take full responsibility for it.
“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.”
The more you exercise, the stronger your muscle will become. And it is the same with reading and learning.
The more you read, the more mentally resilient you will become. And when you are mentally strong, you will never doubt yourself that much.
5. Practice the Reverse-Gap Thinking
I love the principle of Reverse-Gap Thinking. Too often, too many of us tend to focus on the reward and result. And when we don’t get the result we want, we feel demotivated.
The truth is that you have made the progress. You are much better than when you first began. And that’s what Reverse-Gap thinking is all about.
Rather than focusing on the future, the result, or the goal, you should focus on the progress you have made.
Learn to appreciate what you have done and celebrate how far you have come.
Read: 13 Ways How to Celebrate Small Victories and Make Progress
Too many of us focus too much on the outcome.
When we don’t hit our goal, we feel down. And we choose to celebrate and feel good only when we accomplished our goal.
And that is the future-gap thinking you want to avoid. Instead of focusing on the future or pegging your happiness to an outcome, choose to think about all the effort and hard work you have put in.
You don’t have to wait until you achieved your goal only to celebrate. You can feel good right now and happily achieve.
The more you appreciate your life, the less likely you will doubt yourself.
6. Talk to someone who will support you
You cannot do it all by yourself. It doesn’t matter if your goal is to build a successful blog, write and publish a best-selling book, lose weight and get back in shape, or build a great YouTube channel, you need external support from others.
When I first began this blog, it was difficult. Luckily, I received emails and comments from my readers telling me how my content has inspired them in life. And that was what kept me going.
Your circle of support can be from the community, or it can be from someone who you respect and who encourages you, like a good friend or your mentor.
The key is that when you doubt yourself, go and talk to these people. Let their positive minds influence you. Let them encourage you and remind you why you want to do it.
Read: How to Surround Yourself with Positive People
7. Think into the future and look back
When you doubt yourself…
- You’re inadequate,
- You’re inferior,
- You don’t have what it takes,
- You’re going to fail,
- Or whatever…
Just think into the future and then look back.
If you wanted to start a new business venture but you doubt yourself, just think about the future you want and then look back at your life right now.
- Are you going to regret it if you don’t do it?
- How will your life change if you start the business and fail? Can you still survive?
- But what if you succeeded? How will your life look like then?
- What will happen if you fail, and people laugh at you?
- If you don’t do it, will your life change?
These are some of the questions you should explore.
At the end of the day, you will notice that it doesn’t matter if you fail or if people are going to laugh at you. You will realize that this is your life and you get to decide how you want to live it.
You can choose to play safe and be like everyone else – avoid making mistakes and don’t take chances – but what’s the point of doing that, right?
Like what Arnold Schwarzenegger said…
“What is the point of being on this Earth if you are going to be like everyone else?”
And don’t forget this saying from J. K. Rowling too…
“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”
So, stop doubting yourself.
Never let your self-doubt prevent you from doing what you have always wanted. Follow your heart.
And here’s a final quote I’d love to share with you before we end this article…
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
If after going through this article and you still doubt yourself all the time, or you lack confidence and fear that things are not going to turn out well, I suggest you attend this on-demand free training from John Assaraf. You’ll learn how to manage fear and uncertainty in tough times.