When you set goals or try to dream bigger in life, you will definitely have to face these 3 major factors that are there to stop you from moving forward.
1) Limiting self-thoughts
2) Fear and negative feelings
3) Obstacles and roadblocks
You must understand that these are part and parcel in the process of achieving your goals. You and everyone who set goals and try to achieve them will have to face them.
In fact, the bigger your goal and the grandeur your dream, the bigger these factors will be.
And if you are yet to face these 3 major obstacles, it simply means that the goals you set or the dream you dream is not big enough.
Let us look at each of them and overcome them right now.
1. Your Limiting Thoughts
Whenever you think about the perfect life you desire or dream about your dream or set a goal, your subconscious mind will send limiting thoughts into your mind telling you that whatever you want to achieve is not possible.
For instance, you will have the thoughts, ‘I will have to work twice as hard’, or ‘that means I have to wake up 2 hours earlier each day’, or ‘I don’t even have enough time for family, let alone to spend another one hour a day into reading’.
Thoughts such as these are your limiting thought. When you think about jogging and exercising to lose some weight, your limiting thought will kick in and tell you that the gym is too far away or it is winter right now that it is too cold to run outside.
When you are trying venture into a new industry, your mind will tell you that you are too old or too young to learn, or it is just way too difficult to learn.
When you want to work hard on your goals, your mind will tell you to stop because it is going to be tired or you can always do it tomorrow.
Whenever you are trying to go out of your comfort zone, our self-induced limiting thoughts will kick in and tell us to stay right where we are.
These thoughts are simply all the reasons why you shouldn’t attempt your goals.
You have to understand that this phenomenon is absolutely normal. We are trained and programmed to think and act within our comfort zone, not outside of it.
Thus, whenever you have these limiting thoughts, be aware of them and know that they are just part of the process and it is very normal. These thoughts are there to warn you because you are trying to do something that will be out of your norm.
Once you have identified them and understood that they are just your limiting thoughts, things will become easy. You can just go ahead and do it.
Your limiting thoughts are just considerations telling you why you should not attempt your goals.
They are just part of your subconscious programming that is telling you the impossible. And once you are aware of them, you can overcome them.
The Solution: Understanding Your Limiting Thoughts
The solution to overcome your self-limiting thoughts is easy. You just need to be conscious and be aware of them.
Whenever the limiting thoughts come up, understand that they are there because of our programming, and that is all.
There is no need to worry or let the thoughts stop you from moving forward. The thoughts appear because you are trying to do something that is out of your comfort zone and they are there to alert you.
Once you are aware that those thoughts are just general considerations created by your mind, you just need to acknowledge them and do it anyway.
For example, when you set your goal to run a full 42km marathon, thoughts like “I don’t have time to practice”, “I don’t think I can do it”, or “my health and stamina just cannot cope with it”, may surface.
Acknowledge these thoughts. Be aware of them. These are the self-induced limiting thoughts that want to stop you from going further.
Once you acknowledge them, you will understand that it is absolutely normal to have these thoughts.
So what should you do then? Simple, acknowledge them and move forward anyway.
2. Fear and Negative Feelings
The second major factor that stops most people from taking action and reaching their goal is the fear and the negative feelings they felt within them.
Fears are normal just like limiting thoughts. Back in the Stone Age, fear works as the signal telling us that we should get away from dangers.
However, those fears are important only when you live in the jungle and where the saber tooth tiger reigns the place.
Today, we live in the modern world and our fear is not about death, but instead, we feel fear because we are afraid of rejection, failure or even success.
We are afraid of making a fool of ourselves when we voice out our opinion in a meeting. We are afraid we might get humiliated and feel embarrass if we fail in public speaking. We are afraid to fail and how others will look at us.
So fears are just the feelings that we feel within us, they are not real in the first place.
When we try to quit our job and venture into our own business, we face with the fear of failure. We think, “What if I fail and how others will look at me?”
When we want to invest our hard earned money into stock or real estate, we stop and fear that what if we lost all our money.
Think about it, when you try to approach a stranger or ask someone out for a date, you are afraid of rejection and failure. This is what stops most people from taking action and moving forward.
Always remember this, “FEAR is just Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real”.
Fear is not real. Fear only appears in your head. Fear is there because you worry about the uncertainty.
There are a few techniques you can use to get rid of your fears.
Solution #1: Understand That Fears Are Just Fantasized Experiences
Here’s what you can do, write down your fear in the following format:
“I want to (insert your fear here), and I scare myself by imagining (the negative outcome).”
Here are some good examples for you, I’m afraid to:
- Ask Jennifer out for a date
- Leave this job that I hate and look for something better
- Invest a huge portion of my savings for better returns
- Ask my boss for a pay raise
Now, try to insert your fears into the sentence as per the format gave above. You will see how your fears are just your own imagination and nothing real.
- I want to ask Jennifer out for a date, and I scare myself by imagining that she will reject me and I will feel embarrassed.
- I want to leave this job that I hate and look for something better, and I scare myself by imagining that what if I cannot find the right job and don’t have any savings to cover my cost of living.
- I want to a huge portion of my savings for better returns, and I scare myself by imagining that I got burned and lost all my hard earned money.
- I want to ask my boss for a pay raise, and I scare myself by imagining that he will reject me and get mad.
When you follow this technique and do this exercise, you will feel much better and your fear will disappear because it is just a fantasy that you created by imagining it.
Solution #2: Scale Down Your Fear
Sometimes, all you need to do is to scale down the level of your fears, minimize them so that you will proceed and take action.
If you are in sales, try to work on clients that will be most likely to buy from you. If you are trying to raise money from investors, work on people who are more serious and keen to borrow you the money.
Try to minimize the risk and lower down your fear level.
If you want to start a new project, you can always start by tackling the easier part of the project. If you want to learn a new skill, start by mastering the lower level skills first.
The principle here is to start small and grow your confidence level. Imagine if you have never invested in the stock market and suddenly your friend asks you to put in all your money into a stock, how would you feel?
Sometimes, especially when the fear is overwhelming, you don’t have to put in everything all at once. Build your confidence and grow your inertia.
Ever wonder why most people fail to achieve their goal of making a million dollar within a year now? Because they focus on the big thing that paralyzes them in taking the small actions that will lead them to success.
Start small and grow. It does not mean that you cannot set bold goals or go big, it simply means that you must understand your potential and grow your confidence to achieve more.
Solution #3: Think Opposite
The next time when you are afraid of fear of something, try to switch your thinking to the positive opposite. Think positively. Think the opposite of fear.
This may sound easy, but it is not.
You have to focus on the things and the results that you want.
If you are afraid of losing money through an investment, imagine the good things that can happen if you make a huge return on your investment.
If you are fearful of venturing into a new business, focus and think about the successful results you desire. What if you make it and achieve the success you want?
Replacing your fearful thoughts with the positive opposite is one of the easiest ways to get rid of your fear, but it requires tremendous conscious effort.
You have to first acknowledge that the fear is there. And then you have to switch your fearful thought with something positive.
By the way, I learned all these from Jack Canfield, the author of The Success Principles. If you have never read this book before, get it and read it, now! Jack shared his success principles and how you can apply the same in your life.
3. Obstacles and Roadblocks
The third major factor that stops most people from taking action and reaching their goals are obstacles and roadblocks.
Unlike limiting thoughts and fears, obstacles and roadblocks are something real. They are just real-life circumstances you need to deal with.
Here are some examples of obstacles and roadblocks:
- You want to build a website, but you do not possess the technical skill.
- You want to move to somewhere else for better work opportunity, but your wife refuses to go along.
- You want to go for a jogging, but it rains out of a sudden.
- You want to venture into a new business, but nobody wants to join you.
- You want to become a professional tennis player, but you can’t find a coach.
- You want to invest in the stock market, but you have no idea which stock to go for.
The above mentions are some of the most common obstacles and roadblocks that we all face in our daily life.
When we wanted do something and take action to achieve our goals, we are faced with obstacles and challenging roadblocks that stop us.
Think about it, have you ever faced any obstacle and roadblock before? How do you deal with them? Do you let them stop you because you don’t have the necessary skill, or time or opportunity or support or resource? Or do you find a way to overcome them?
“When there is a WILL, there is a WAY.”
You just have to remember that for every obstacle you face out there, someone has a bigger obstacle than you and someone has overcome it. You just need to find out the solution.
And there will always be a solution to a problem.
The Solution: Success Leaves Clues
Tony Robbins once said:
“Success leaves clues. Go figure out what someone who was successful did, and model it. Improve it and learn their steps. They have knowledge.”
And I can’t agree more. Success leaves clues and you just need to figure out how to get there from people who have done it.
You can read books, attend seminars and workshops, or even get someone to teach and guide you how to achieve what you want.
- If you want to build a website and you have no idea how to do it? Learn.
- If you want to become a professional golfer, get a coach to guide you.
- If you want to become a millionaire through investing in the stock market, learn from those who have done it.
The answers are always out there, waiting for you to discover.
Therefore, whenever you face with obstacles and roadblocks, never let them stop you. Find out the solution and overcome them.
Unfortunately, most people look at obstacles and roadblocks as a stop sign rather than as part of the process to achieve what they desire.
So change your thinking and change the way how you look at obstacles today.
Whenever you face with a difficulty, a challenge, a roadblock, or you have no idea how to do something, seek out the answer. Google it. Read books. Ask around.
Don’t ever let obstacles and roadblocks stop you from moving forward in your life. They are just part-and-parcel of the journey to unleashing the greatness in you.
Always look at these 3 major factors that stop you as a normal phenomenon.
When you want to do something out of your comfort zone, it is normal to have limiting thoughts and feeling fearful. You just need to be aware and be conscious about them, and then you can face them.
When you have no idea how to do something or face obstacles in your life, understand that this is part of the game. If you want to win, you have to commit to mastery.
The only way you can become extraordinary in your field is to learn to become a master.
Thus, never let your limiting thoughts, your fears and the obstacles stop you.
More importantly, understand that your limiting thoughts, the fear you feel and the obstacles you face in your journey are part of the process, learn to deal with them.
If you are renovating your kitchen, you already expect that there will be dust and disturbance, and you learn to handle it. You have to do the same in every area of your life.
When it is raining out there, you can choose to let the rain stops you or you can choose to move on, take an umbrella or simply get wet and deal with it later. It’s your choice.