This is a guest article contributed by Micheal Gilmore from Resumes Planet.
Myths are very dangerous. Once a person accepts a myth as a personal belief, that belief will consistently influence that person’s decision and thinking.
So if you believe that smoking marijuana is going to bring you harm you will obviously refuse to smoke it.
If you believe it to help you relax and think, you’ll support it and keep smoking it.
That’s how everything works with people.
The funny thing is – all of us have so many different beliefs, and most of the conflicts between people happen because their beliefs are in big contradiction.
However, on a personal level, having disempowering beliefs is going to limit your options, opportunities, and life a lot.
If you’re the type of individual who gives a lot of attention to personal development, you’re probably aware of the importance of self-confidence in our lives.
If you want to succeed in your field, build a bright future, or meet the person who will be your life partner, you must be self-confident.
Yes, it’s a must, not a bonus. If you don’t believe you can do it, you are instantly sabotaging yourself without realizing it.
In this post, we’ve gathered 5 myths that are significantly reducing the quality of life of those of you who have adopted them.
You can build your self-confidence easier by knowing which traps to avoid in the first place.
Yet, if you already “function” under their rules, you should break that belief into pieces and reconstruct it back better.
1. “I Will Take Action When My Confidence is Built”
Confidence and action are two very interconnected pieces of the entire self-confidence puzzle.
When you perform an action, you’re mostly doing it because you’re confident enough that you can turn that action into a success.
You will take that penalty shot while playing football because you are confident enough that you won’t disappoint your team.
Well, even though most of us think this way, this isn’t the most productive way of achieving progress or more self-discipline.
Instead of waiting for confidence to be high in order to perform, just reverse the entire process.
Do something first, observe the result, and gain self-confidence once everything’s over.
If you fail it doesn’t matter.
Failure is a part of the process. It is the feedback that you get after you perform a set of actions.
In order to change the feedback (or outcome), you must test again with different actions. Do it until you succeed.
When you accomplish what you want, your self-confidence will naturally boost big time.
This way works much better than simply waiting for your confidence to grow by itself.
Remember; action equals personal power.
The more personal power you have the better you’ll feel your results coming.
2. “When ‘I’ll be like that’ or ‘Have That,’ Only Then I Will Do It”
Same like the previous myth, this myth incorporates something else.
It refers to the fact that you do not need anything to achieve self-confidence. It’s not like you’re buying it.
It is a part of you, a part of your mindset. And as you know, the mindset of a person doesn’t just change overnight.
It takes time, action, and patience.
To be honest, when people state that they are presently waiting for more money, opportunities, or for that “aha moment” – I honestly believe that these are (in 99% of the cases) excuses.
It is the procrastination demon that’s kicking in and not only.
People also have a big fear of failure.
For some, fear means terror. The sad part is that very few are consciously assessing this fear of failing.
They simply let it roll automatically, and they allow it to influence every decision they make.
How many times have you been afraid of trying something completely new just because you thought you will suck at it? Are you afraid to fail? Why? There’s nothing to be afraid.
However, if you don’t even try, you should really fear to lose that opportunity.
Still, if you have the courage to do it without having this or that or being this or that, you’ll build your self-confidence and achieve results better than ever.
3. “My Value as A Person is Directly Proportional with My Material Assets and Status”
Another myth that gained popularity is very absurd, yet extremely popular. Because we live in a material society and world in which money gets you almost everything, most people have started to associate their self-confidence and self-esteem with their material or social status.
If you’re a lawyer, a doctor, a successful businessman, or you are just being financially rich, you can sit back and relax, as people won’t judge you so often.
However, if you’re not any of these, if you have a not-so-well-rated job or your financial condition is modest, you’re likely to come across more obstacles along your path.
Still, it is critical for you to understand that other people’s opinion about you and your life should never influence your self-confidence or self-worth.
You are you. You are different. You are unique. This is true.
If you can really grasp this concept, you’ll soon understand that there’s absolutely no reason for you to worry about others.
Then, you’ll be relieved of the constant need to prove something to people. Your self-confidence will instantly rise once you understand it.
Never base your emotions, values, or beliefs on other people’s opinions.
Many people could give you very superficial feedback (direct or indirect) based on their own perceptions and values.
4. “To Be Self-Confident, You Need to Spend Years Training Hard”
There are so many people who believe that self-confidence is a skill that needs a lot of practice in order to be mastered.
Even though this is half true and your dedication and active involvement in the process will help you a lot, it’s more a matter of mindset and courage in the first place.
As I’ve already mentioned, you can best build your confidence by taking action first and reaping the rewards after you get the result.
Now – in order to master your self-confidence in time, you need three important “pieces”:
- The proper mindset
- Action, action, action
- Experience and positive feedback (gained after the action)
Even my equation sounds that one must “build a lot of knowledge” and commit a lot of effort to the process.
However, to build the proper mindset, you don’t need many things. What you need to do is open your mind to new possibilities.
You also need to read a little bit, as reading is a great personal development tool for every one of us.
Most importantly, you should take some time alone and simply think about your self-worth.
Do it positively, and build enough courage through your thoughts so that taking action will no longer be something terrifying.
Instead, perceive it as something exciting!
All of us go through completely different journeys. Whether we want to be more self-confident or build emotional mastery, or grow financially – it’s different for each of us.
There are a lot of factors that come into the equation, so don’t worry about others. Stick to your path and do your best each day!
5. “Self-Confidence is Often a Birth Trait – So You Either Have It or You Don’t”
This is the funniest myth that I’ve heard about concerning self-confidence.
I’ve met someone at the library. The guy was a genius, as he was able to do things that very few people can.
At first, he was very quiet and reserved. Even though he possessed tons of knowledge and plenty of skills to become an active participant in several discussions, he preferred to keep quiet.
At my local library, most people know each other. This guy was new. After a few months, I convinced him to spend more time (during breaks) with my “library friends” and contribute to our interesting discussions.
Now here’s the amazing thing: once this guy opened his mouth and kept offering great solutions and strategies for our group’s common problems, he was instantly offered a job by a CEO of a medium-sized company.
In a matter of 6 months, my friend became the manager of the company.
Most surprisingly for me, he started holding different events and speeches. He was a totally different person.
So what does this story have to do with self-confidence?
Well, my friend admitted that he previously held a very damaging belief: he thought that some people are just confident, and he wasn’t part of this “category”.
Since he was young, he kept everything for himself, failing to make friends and connections and being a lone wolf.
For him, those library discussions were just the beginning of his “healing”.
Once he joined an organized environment, he managed to conquer his fears and change his disempowering belief about self-confidence. It took him 6 months to become one of the most self-confident individuals I know.
The summary? You’re never born self-confident.
You make your own destiny, and you build your own self-confidence in time.
Takeaways
Building your self-confidence is not going to take a few weeks or months. This is a process, a journey.
It needs to be treated like that, without being rushed. Small actions lead to big results over time, so you should always work on improving this important quality.
We hope that our insights helped you eliminate some disempowering beliefs from your mind and therefore allow you to take action upon your biggest goals with confidence and courage.
About the author:
Micheal Gilmore is a career advisor and resumes writer at Resumes Planet. His mission is helping people achieve perfection in anything they do. His life is fully dedicated to the people. Connect with Micheal on Twitter.
Thank you for sharing, a very useful article, the building of self-esteem is very important, before I struggled with his low self-esteem, and then I read some books to build Self-esteem in which the self-esteem book of jeremy’s book is very good starts to build self-esteem.